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Hello Readers, This week’s Trilogy of Thought will cover: Thought 1: Philosophical quote/idea: Reflecting on succinctly written philosophical ideas helps us become critical thinkers. Thought 2: A critical thinking (CT) idea discussed originally. Today’s topic: Critical Thinking and The Art of Good Questioning Thought 3: CT actions to implement. You must put in the work.
THOUGHT 1: A QUOTE "Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers."
— Voltaire As you practice healthy thinking, you must think about how you will decide to engage in the exploration of your world. The words you choose will determine the answers you get. This quote reminds us that the quality of our questions often reflects the depth of our understanding as well as our willingness to explore ideas. Voltaire's words encourage us to focus on inquiry as a method for connection, learning, and meaningful engagement with others. This is the point of our ability to speak, discuss, and socialize. Asserting what we already know has no bearing on what we are still yet to know. Learn more about Voltaire here. Why should you click the link above to learn more? >There is an organic way to become better at using effective language while speaking. As you learn that there is so much more to know about almost everything, you will naturally begin to use language that matches HOW you think. So, take the time to learn about more things and curiosity will always be reflected in your conversational words. THOUGHT 2 Critical Thinking and The Art of Good Questioning The art of good questioning is an essential skill for critical thinking (CT). It’s not just about the questions you ask, but how you frame them, and how you are able to manage the emotional temperature of the conversation. The reactions you get from others are often a reflection of what you say and how you say it. My teaching is not about external locus of control or blame. My teaching is about using what you can control to become skillful in the way you engage others. Remember, communication is a two-way street, and while you can't control how others respond, you can guide the tone and direction of the conversation by carefully choosing your words and approach. Sometimes, no matter what you do, the conversation may go south, but there are often identifiable reasons for this. Perhaps the other person is not in a good mood, they are particularly sensitive that day, or the topic is an emotional trigger. All of these factors come into play as we assess our entry into conversation as well as when we reflect on what may have gone right or wrong. Know that where the conversation is not going well, this is the fault of those who are inside it, and we can always make improvements. This is your first clue to alert you that perhaps you need to work on your language skills. Sometimes, we may find it difficult to discuss certain topics with specific people because the relationship naturally operates at a higher emotional temperature. The triggers are close to the surface, making it hard to have a productive conversation. In these cases, it might be wise to avoid those discussions altogether. However, a worthwhile personal challenge could be to seek common ground with someone you frequently clash with. One of the first things to acknowledge is that our biases are always armed and ready to influence our words and reactions. Recognizing this is the first step in managing how we communicate. Early on in conversation, it's important to avoid immediately invalidating the other person’s viewpoint. Phrases like "I disagree," "I don’t think that’s right," or "That’s incorrect" become conversation killers. As soon as you invalidate someone’s view, you quickly trigger a defense mechanism. The other person will erect a wall between you. Now, not only do you need to convey your point and get your message through to the other person, but you also have to get through or around the wall too. However, this doesn’t mean you can never express disagreement. Actually, timing is key. If you take the time to establish a foundation of trust and mutual respect inside the conversation, you can assert your disagreement later in the conversation without causing the same level of defensiveness. This is why the initial tone of the conversation is so crucial. Think of it as setting the table before a meal, you need to prepare the space for a productive and respectful exchange. Time spent on the quality of the foundation pays off later. Good questioning techniques that encourage CT and intellectual advancement involve more than just avoiding confrontational statements; they require a mindset of curiosity and a willingness to explore different perspectives. Instead of saying "That’s wrong," try asking, "What brought you to that conclusion?" or "I am interested in why this is your view." Statements like "In my experience…" or "I often feel…" are softer ways to express your views without shutting down the conversation. Also, people naturally mirror others during conversation as human innovation can easily self-suppress, and it is quite difficult to arrange words spontaneously while remaining articulate. So, if you are paving-the-conversation-way, others will naturally follow. Avoid making blanket statements that suggest your view is the only correct one. People do this all the time. When I was younger and without cognitive training, I did this a lot, and then I wondered why I received a negative reaction. I knew what I thought, but it was because I did not have the skill to convey logical meaning that people rejected my ideas. People think entirely differently than you because they stand at a point of view that is not yours. Instead, cleverly approach the discussion with flexibility, understanding that most issues have multiple sides. Your goal: Use questioning techniques to find out what those sides are. Critical thinking involves not just analyzing the content of a conversation but also being aware of the broader social context in which it takes place. You need to be thinking about the bigger picture. If you can do this, after some time, your questions and language choices will naturally begin to reflect these broader thinking habits. When engaging in conversation, it’s crucial to practice charitable translation and approach each exchange with a good faith mindset. This means giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, interpreting their words in the most reasonable way possible, and assuming positive intent. By doing this, you reduce the likelihood of getting offended and create a more constructive dialogue, even when disagreements arise. Remember, the goal isn’t to win the conversation; it’s to create an environment where ideas can be exchanged, and we can learn something new or teach someone something new. Think about how you make people feel and how you are feeling. If something is not feeling good, switch it up or reflect, and come back better the next time. Examples A list of questioning techniques/statements that often raise the emotional temperature or stop the flow during a conversation and reduce critical thinking: "I disagree." "That’s wrong." "You’re not understanding me." "You always..." or "You never..." "The fact is..." or "The truth is..." "Calm down." "Why would you think that?" "It’s not that big of a deal." "You’re being too sensitive." "If you would just listen..." "It’s hard to explain" or "You won’t understand." Suggests the content of the topic is too complex for the other person to understand. This phrasing is sometimes used when the person does not have the confidence to properly articulate, leading to comprehension issues, or is being the opposite of transparent.
A list of questions and statements that are helpful during conversations, fostering inquiry, and curiosity, and keeping the emotional temperature balanced. Adjust these to fall naturally within your style of speaking: "Okay, that’s interesting. Can you tell me more about that?" "I’m curious about your take on this." "How did you come to that conclusion?" "That’s an interesting point; I hadn’t thought of it that way before." "In my experience, I’ve seen it a bit differently. What do you think?" "I see where you’re coming from. Here’s how I’ve been looking at it…" "What do you think the best approach would be?" "It sounds like this is really important to you. Can you tell me why it is so important?" "I often feel the same way, so I get what you mean." "So, how can we move forward from this?"
THOUGHT 3 Activities Practical Application: Practice Good Questioning Activity 1: Practicing Reflective Questions
This week, when talking with people, try to make a conscious effort to use the questioning techniques above and replace some of the ‘don’t do’s’ with some of the ‘do’s’. Notice how these questions change the tone of your conversations and encourage more open dialogue. Try and be authentic otherwise, you will derail the whole exchange! Just relax and naturally remain open, this is the best starting point as your words will organically fall into a curious place. Activity 2: Timing and Environment Check
Before initiating a conversation, take a moment to assess the timing and environment. Is this the right time to bring up a sensitive topic? Is the other person in a receptive mood? Practicing this habit will help you choose the best moments to engage in important discussions. Stay tuned for the Sunday Synapse, which will be delivered to your inbox every Sunday! Get ready to take on a new week better than you were last week! If it does not bring value to you, just hit the unsubscribe button below. Send me an email with feedback—what you like, don’t like, want more of, or just to say hi! Until next Sunday, take care. Dr. Esha
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