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Hello to my dear readers, Let’s learn how to get you or those you work with more emotionally intelligent by drawing on logical thinking/intelligence. Do not become afraid of the word “intelligent” and ignore anyone who says you can not develop the ability to use more intelligence with your thinking. You will develop a knack for facing off with your thoughts with both reason, logic, and emotional awareness. It will be hard, but it is worth it. You want your mind to be powerful and it can be. The letter will be: A trio of thoughts: Aphorism: In just a few short words we have much to think about. This week’s lesson: “How critical thinking matures emotional intelligence”. Critical Thinking Activities for this week
THOUGHT 1: AN APHORISM "Emotional intelligence grows through perceiving and responding thoughtfully to life's emotional challenges—not by avoiding them." — Susan David, psychologist, Harvard Medical School researcher, and author of Emotional Agility.
THOUGHT 2: THIS WEEKS LESSON Critical Thinking MatureS Emotional Intelligence You should let your emotions guide you. But only trust yourself to do this if you're emotionally intelligent enough to understand your emotions: The more critical thinking you apply to your thoughts, the more your emotional intelligence will increase over time. Critical thinking > Emotional Intelligence > Mental Health Your mental health will improve as you increase your emotional intelligence. Balancing Logic and Emotion Where many people talk about learning logic and reason and others discuss emotional intelligence, I am a strong advocate for balancing logical and emotional intelligence. We need to listen to our emotions to help guide us to make choices that make us feel good. We also need logic and reason to understand our emotions and what they mean.
When you learn how to effectively understand your emotions logically, it's called emotional intelligence. Why Emotions Can Block Better Choices The biggest reason why will NOT choose to make better thinking choices is emotional immaturity or vulnerability. Firstly, I want to remind you that emotions are not bad. AT ALL. They are part of all humans and without them, we would not be human. Your unique feelings, thoughts, and ideas are the difference between you and another person. So you should protect that with all your heart. BUT we must learn to use our emotions to guide us in the ways we need to succeed as: Emotions are a very important human trait and make all the difference between us and the modern world's threat to emotional intelligence… AI and the digital world. The Modern Problem As a sociologist, I look at what social processes impact our mental health and subsequently the choices we make. The biggest socially detrimental problem we have right now is that the world is losing the ability to develop organic, socially relevant emotional intelligence. Why? Due to the amount of time spent online. As humans, we all have emotional sensitivity and awareness—how those emotions manifest is dependent on: All of these factors determine whether we use emotions effectively or to our detriment. However, due to fewer socially relevant interactions and increased online interactions, people no longer place themselves in situations that mature their emotional faculties. Emotional Intelligence and Social Success This issue is a large-scale global problem because our social success depends heavily on how we: Emotional intelligence can be directly correlated and measured by assessing: How well you know and can help yourself make emotionally healthy choices Your understanding of other's emotions and the health of your social network Your ability to healthily negotiate relationships and life based on this knowledge
Being intellectually aware of how humans operate automatically increases your chance of social success across various domains and sections of society. We learn this through practice in our lives as we experience different situations. How Emotions Block Critical Thinking If we are not emotionally mature, these emotions will block our understanding, and when we start at the wrong place, we can't move forward. People struggling with their emotions also struggle with clear thinking, unable to get past acute emotional responses. Critical thinking is reduced when we are: Stressed Worried Depressed Anxious Angry Mentally unwell Busy
Whatever the emotion, it blocks good thinking because our brains are preoccupied with an issue. In order to help activate cleat thinking we we must attend to the issue that is causing our emotional blocks. Our brain is busy dealing with something that needs resolution, signaling clearly: "Hey, I am worried, so attend to the worry." People who avoid attending to their emotional worries increase their risk of anxiety and ongoing mental health issues. Managing Emotions for Better Decisions What should we do when we are emotional, especially if we want to think critically? First, we deal with the emotion. We can't think critically if clouded by something affecting our decision-making. This affects all of us: workers, family members, leaders, directors, presidents. What we can do to assist with developing our emotional intelligence is to work through our problems and start by categorising emotions. So we move them into places where they can be: We use logical thinking to assess the validity of our emotions and their impact on our decisions. The better we can do this, the greater our chances of ongoing life improvement. How to Develop Emotional Intelligence We mature our emotional understanding by attempting to use reason, logic, and flexibility in assessing what is happening. Usually, we do this organically by interacting with people in our social life. We learn logical and sequential cause-and-effect lessons by: We can observe patterns and try to devise logical understandings of how things work in society, within our family, and in our own behaviour and emotions. Recognising these patterns allows us to logically attend to our emotions, helping them mature and develop. Consider the example of bullying: Perhaps someone you or someone you know is being bullied. It may be at work, at home, anywhere. The natural emotional reaction might be to become upset, develop resentment, not understand why it's happening, and remain emotionally triggered by bullying in the future. It is easy to develop angry feelings towards your bully. The people around you depending on their own emotional maturity will give you advice that is either helpful or detrimental. NOTE: It is normal to become upset. You also do not need to tolerate bullying. You should take logical steps to address the bullying. But that is a separate issue to how you will attend to your emotional mind. Developing emotional intelligence involves attempting to understand why this behaviour is occurring and what may be causing it. This means separating the emotional feeling from logical understanding. For example, if you're a parent of a child being bullied, talk openly with your child about why some people become bullies. Avoid simplistic explanations like "they're just jealous," or “they are just mean”, or “stay away” because this doesn't help your child understand the emotional complexity behind bullying behaviour. Instead, focus on exploring the deeper reasons behind why people behave this way, helping your child develop a more mature and insightful emotional perspective as this develops emotional intelligence. It is particularly cognitively sensible and helpful, however, to think about why human beings behave in anti-social ways, what causes them to attack those they view as weaker, and what social processes and underlying social dynamics are occurring. As we use logic to observe and take notice of social patterns we can use that to understand the world and make more informed decisions. This awareness could also enable you to: Recognise unhealthy or toxic social patterns early and take proactive steps to manage or avoid them. Build empathy and compassion, helping you relate to and understand the emotional struggles of both victims and aggressors. (For example, in my line of work, to improve the conditions which create aggressors, I need to be able to empathise with them). Develop resilience, as understanding reduces emotional reactivity and enhances thoughtful responses to difficult situations. Improve communication, because being aware of emotional dynamics leads to clearer, more socially aware interactions. Empower effective problem-solving, as deeper awareness equips you to handle social conflicts more intelligently and constructively.
Rather than taking bullying personally, emotional intelligence provides you with a perspective that understands both the bully and the victim as people. This is how you move from subjective reaction to objective analysis. I want to add what Susan David, the person I chose for this week’s quote would say about improving emotional intelligence. She raises the concept of “emotional agility”. According to Susan, is about developing the flexibility to thoughtfully navigate your emotions. Rather than being driven by impulsive emotional reactions, emotional agility means observing emotions openly, understanding what these emotions signal about your values and situations, and then choosing your response intentionally. Being emotionally agile allows you to step back from strong feelings, view the situation clearly, and adapt your behaviour effectively. Read more about Susan’s work by exploring her book: David, S. (2016). Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life. Avery. Click to see Susan David’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susandavid_phd/?hl=en THOUGHT 3: ACTIVITY Critical Thinking Activity to Improve Emotional Intelligence: Think of someone in your life who has experienced emotional difficulty or vulnerability. Bonus points f it is someone closer to you because this means you have an emotional connection with this person. This emotional connection means you may have biases that might cloud your logical judgement. I want you to try really hard to remain fair with the facts you know. Reflect on the following points thoughtfully: What do you know for certain about their situation? What do you observe? What do you NOT know or fully understand? Can you make any healthy assumptions? Be careful not to make unhealthy assumptions based on your own biases. What life events, historical facts, or present facts have contributed to their emotional state? Consider social, psychological, or circumstantial factors. How might this knowledge change your emotional reactions or interactions with this person?
This exercise encourages logical thinking and promotes deeper emotional understanding and empathy. Happy Thinking!
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