The PhD Experience Teaches us a lot about TRUTH. It is a Crash Course in Critical Thinking. I share all the lessons I learned with you in these letters. Learning how to tell myself the truth was the BIG lesson during my PhD. You are also experiencing the same lessons—but over a lifetime. The Truth Process Is Brutal: We voluntarily place ourselves in a position for our ideas to be peer-reviewed (judged by other people) in the most extreme way possible. We are pushed to our thinking capacity by being intellectually humbled over and over. In just a few years, our minds undergo an exceptional transformation.
Academia Crushes Your ConfidenceConfidence is built then it is taken away on repeat. When we receive honest, blunt feedback in academia, we cannot worry about our feelings. And believe me—no one cares. The process has to be brutally efficient to get the best of the mind out and working. The academics reviewing our work are drowning in their own workload. They have no time except to cut to the chase.
We simply need to come back stronger, speak better, and back ourselves up with better logic. It is up to us, no one is there to do it for us. Negative Comment Stacking When that feedback comes back—sometimes just days after we have thrown blood, sweat, and tears into a version we were finally proud enough to submit—it arrives with hundreds of comments tearing our confidence to absolute shreds. Each comment burns more than the last because every critique lands on an already fresh wound. It is intense. We go through this weekly for years. Statistically PhD dropout rates are high. It is because it is cognitively very hard. It is cognitively effortful. After going through it and watching so many students, colleagues and friends go through it is a psychological game more than anything else. The brain that can persist years of that type of cognitive onslaw will make it to the finish line as a stronger version. These statistics are important because they show you how easily people will quit or resist growth. Why Does Any of This Matter?Because the pattern of people quitting when things feel cognitively hard is high. However, those who stick to it and face the difficult thoughts will get stronger. Then nothing can get you. You can optimise your cognitive potential. For example, every time I was told my writing was not good enough and that I did to know enough I went back and tried to improve. I could have quit instead. I wanted to but I didn’t and I am so glad I stuck it out. Personal Example How I Told Myself ONE Truth to Improve: I am naturally higher in EQ (Empathy Quotient), and I know this about myself. I have learned and now recognise as a female I have an elevated likelihood and potential skill for emotional and social intelligence. I know this is true as I have observed this in my interactions with my husband, my children, with friends, and social settings. I automatically care more about feelings. This is my strength. This gives me an advantage—but only if I use it effectively.
On the other hand: Now that we are both aware of our strengths and weaknesses, we use them to create a more harmonious balance in our home. We look to one another to support one another in the home in the domains that we are strong. It takes me more cognitive effort to switch to systems thinking and it takes him more cognitive effort to switch to empathic thinking. Now that we know this, we are a better team than we have ever been. BUT, since my CT training, I have strengthened my systematic thinking ability. Before this, my natural tendency for EQ meant I was emotionally aware, but I didn’t always use my emotional awareness with intelligence. Now, because of CT training, I see my EQ as a superpower. The more willing you are to accept what is true, the better you can make decisions that benefit you. If you don’t start at a place of what may be true, you are forever chasing your own tail. You can never arrive at the finish line if you didn’t even start at the right race. You are earning your own PhD of life. Keep at it. Tell yourself the truth. Thanks for reading this week, folks! As always, send me your thoughts and reflections—I love hearing from you. Please know I am behind on my replies as I get a lot of emails and messages. Your thoughts motivate me and I read every one so do not stop! Given all your great stories, I am launching a new section called Thought Revolutions, where I’ll feature YOUR real-world applications of the lessons from the Sunday Synapse or any reflections and observations you’d like to share.
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