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YOU NEED TO TEACH YOURSELF HOW TO BE A RATIONAL THINKER As a human being, you will base most of your choices on emotional needs and feelings. If parts of your life seem to be in disarray, consider what might be causing the chaos. Conversely, if there’s an area where things feel smooth or successful, reflect on what you do to make it work so well. This is how you use critical thinking (CT). Tell the truth about what works and what does not. I am not saying that rational thinking—which is often described as “thinking with the head”—trumps or replaces thinking with the heart, which is feeling-based. Believe me, I don’t want you to do that without careful thought. We have lost all space for heart, and there’s an expectation that people should think like robots, as if there’s only a strict right or wrong with no grey area. But there’s always grey. You learn to operate within the grey by figuring out what’s causing it if it needs to stay or go, and then work through it. WE ARE ALL ABLE TO BE RATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL Depending on the context, place, time, life stage, or who we’re around, we might find ourselves being more emotional with our thinking and less rational or less emotional and more rational. For example, think of a workplace setting or a sport or activity you enjoy. To succeed, you often need to focus on a specific task, putting in the effort required to do it well. You have a reason to—maybe you want a promotion, to be seen as competent, or you like the feeling of being challenged, or to keep getting invited back. There are certain rules or parameters you have to follow. Once you fully understand those parameters, you can start to push or stretch them. But you can only do that effectively once you’ve mastered the original task enough so you don’t get kicked out or lose your spot.
Competency usually ends in positive outcomes. I have always seen it this way. Every time something went wrong, I never blamed it solely on my skin colour, migrant status, or any other weak reason. I could see that I had loads of room to improve my character and my competency. When you are slacking off you will not be seen as competent. There are repercussions for a lack of competence. For example, you can see the difference between those who do their job with more precision, poise, and success than those who don’t. If I walked into a workplace and observed the practices of staff members, I could guess those who are not activating the cognitive faculties needed to be more focused and attentive. They can be noticed by finding those who are perhaps too preoccupied with emotional or relationship-based worries—like what people think of them or how they’re being viewed—because of unresolved internal conflicts. You can almost always improve any scenario with CT. Those who can focus well and succeed do so for two reasons: They can successfully separate the spaces in their lives and allocate emotion and rationality as needed. They know exactly what matters in each context.
When we succeed in one area and optimise that space, this spills over into other areas. But sometimes, when life becomes too overwhelming, it spills over into work and everything else. That’s when you must recognise whether one part of your life affects another. People who become successful at any one thing apply total and utter focus and use clear thinking methods to do it. I tell you this because this is how we all use CT effectively or ineffectively all day, every day, throughout our lives. CRITICAL THINKING AS AN INTELLIGENCE TOOL I look at CT as an intelligence tool—something to help you activate that intellectual part of your brain that is available to all of us. Human beings as a species are intelligent. This part of our brain, if we know how to activate it, can help us make better decisions against all odds of the day, week, or month. Do not let anyone say you are not smart enough to make better choices. It is our life, our upbringing, our experiences, and our exposure to the right types of lessons (and the wrong ones) that either aided us toward healthy thinking or did not.
I was never viewed as clever when I was younger, and that was because I had everything stacked against me so I did not spend my time trying to be smart. I spent my time trying to fit in and say the right things. However, as time went on and I realised my problems were not going to solve themselves, I became hyper-aware of my surroundings and able to work out solutions to my problems over and over again. I have gone from socially unintelligent—which I define as not having the knowledge to optimise my success in the society I was living in—to working it all out and becoming socially intelligent. I feel successful in my society now, despite starting out as a migrant and disenfranchised person. I feel a lot of social power in Australia, where I grew up. I know the laws, the policies, the system, the cultures, the language, the nuances, so I can operate within it at a very high level because I use logic and reason to guide myself. I feel empowered. That is because of the work I did. For 27 years. I only did this by telling myself the truth over and over again. The first rational truth I told myself was that I was not socially intelligent and others seemed to be ahead of me. This made sense. I was a migrant. How on earth can I be more successful in an environment I do not yet know so well? I wanted success there and I saw others succeed and I noticed why. It was the way they used words, language, ideas, logic. I was making mistakes in this social environment that were causing me to fail. I observed, and I improved. I have now surpassed many people who judged my intellectual ability in those early days. I can hold a conversation and be viewed as intelligent, even if I’m not particularly remarkable in a general sense. But by talking in a highly logical and reasonable way, people listen. It is hard to argue with logic and reason. I think my skill is that I balance logic and emotional intelligence very well. You can too with CT. That is increasing your ability to be reasonable and think with logic. BALANCING RATIONALITY AND EMOTION So how do you use rationality to its healthy optimisation? Remember, you don’t want to use rationality instead of feeling and emotion when it’s needed. You must balance the two. The world is hyper-focused on rational thinking right now, and all happiness, feeling, warmth, and humanness are being absolutely destroyed. You don’t want to be that person, because it’s your humanness that will make you feel good at the end of the day, surrounded by those you care about, laughing, talking, and sharing. But it’s the ability to use rationality, logic, and reason that will help you solve your problems. RATIONAL STEPS TO WORK THROUGH A PROBLEM Clearly Identify the Issue Check Your Emotional State Ask yourself what feelings are coming up. Acknowledge them, but don’t let them take over your thought process. Examples:
Gather Relevant Facts Separate your assumptions or worries from the actual facts. Look at the data or evidence around you. Example of Real Data You Might Notice About Yourself: The resume I keep using gets rejected repeatedly. I don’t have a single friend right now. I haven’t invited anyone over for dinner in years. I rarely share what I have with others. I haven’t learned anything new for a long time. I’m a people-pleaser. My anxiety causes problems in my relationships with the people I care about.
Reflect Listing verifiable facts about your situation helps you see what’s really going on. It’s a good way to separate the emotional noise or assumptions (“nobody likes me,” “I’ll never succeed”) from tangible evidence (“I haven’t tried inviting people over,” “my resume hasn’t been updated in years”). This clarity is crucial before you decide on your next move. Or, if things are going well in a certain area, look at why that is. Think about something you’re already successful at in your life, and ask yourself why it works. Understanding the specific reasons behind your success in one area can guide you in other areas you want to improve. Compare and contrast between areas that work and areas of your life that do not.
Consider Different Angles You might add a short scenario like, “If you feel stuck with something and know things are not working well, bravely ask a co-worker or mentor or someone you trust to tell them their perception of you and your choices. Outside perspectives are powerful but we need to permit people to tell us the truth.
Look for Patterns or Repeated Mistakes Logical patterns will give you the evidence you need. But you have to see them. You could reflect on something in this way using patterns, Notice if you respond to stress or difficult situations by procrastinating or avoiding communication. This then results in further issues or relationship breakdown. If this is a recurring pattern, you know that’s an area to work on. If you can not observe and identify patterns well, this is an area you need to improve.
Make a Plan for Action Implement and Observe Refine as Needed
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